Author: Mrs Sandesh Manroa
When I wrote my first blog “OBSCENITY OF MONEY POWER” a few of my friends responded that they
did not like my comments about In-Laws being the demons of our Indian society. People spend lavishly on weddings of daughters, but today I will speak about a couple of my very close friends who can be classified as anything but “Demon In-laws”
But before that let’s first talk about the history of dowry. This evil has been present in the India from the times of Maharabharat and Ramyana through the Babylonian periods until now. The reasons for its creation however are unknown to anyone. Times have changed and so must this social evil today. If you ask me,i will say it is just shameful to ask dowry from parents who are parting with their daughter almost forever.
One friend has three sons and he told them to get married to whomsoever they like, he however had one condition. The condition was that he would not accept any dowry, be it cash or gifts. Even if the word dowry was taken the marriage proposal would be rejected. His son’s spoon fed their future in-laws about these instructions and the marriages took place without any hassles. This friend of mine even brought the wedding rings himself. The father’s view was that the girl will be accepting his son, will have to adjust to the new environment and eventually give birth to his grand-children. If anyone deserves any gift or money it is the girl!
The second case is about one of my son’s friend who belongs to a Jaat family where huge dowries are part and parcel of every marriage. But the boy’s father went against the usual customs and refused to accept even a single rupee. At the time of ring ceremony the girl’s family tried to give a packet of cash to the boy. The boy’s father flabbergasted, got up and left the place. The girl’s family was in disarray, how to bring the boy’s father back? Finally things cooled down after a heated exchange of words and the proceedings resumed. It’s been over two years since the marriage and both set of families are extremely happy.
I have no intention of glorifying my friends but the point is clear! These examples showed that such customs do not have place in our society. Without them we can make our life extremely peaceful and happy. In today’s world where girls have equal participation and rights in every field why should marriages be an exception? In the time of equal rights and education for women, I wonder how the bride can have honor for the in laws bride included, who ask for dowry. The girl will be a wife to husband, child to in laws, subsequently a mother and will also help financially if a working lady.
Give your daughters the same care and education as you provide to your sons. Let her follow her dreams and make a career for herself. Her financial independence will free you from your worries about her future. I would like to again thank everyone who provided me with their frank feedback on my first article which resulted in me writing about the other side of the coin!
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Yug Vani fully support the writer’s view. We should not be fascinated by the Obscenity of Money Power, rather use it in such a way that it give comfort & benefit for which it is earned.
I am fully against “Dowry”. I neither took “dowry” in my son’s marriage nor gave it in my daughter’s marriage. It is not question of money. It is question of girl’s safety too. Once you accept dowry demand then you open door for all future demands & if you don’t fulfill them then only God knows what may happen to your daughter.
SAY NO TO DOWRY TODAY TO SAVE YOUR DAUGHTER TOMORROW
Pradeep Shanker
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Good to notice you will not be taking a dowry when you get your son married off,mam! No groom worth his grains must either!
Dowry is a bane of our country and in certain other primordial lands which is chauvinistic like practice of kowtowing to a few ‘VIPs’ of political spectrum today ,based on media projection. Unworthy humans still have a herd mentality.this must change. Laws are to be enforced. More importantly, religious beliefs centred on humane customs, not blind rituals of yore ought to be imbibed into both men & women,grooms& brides!
It is a good sign that more & more educated youth believe in love marriages,performed under parental approval in customary traditional ways but dowry goes missing.
Respect for the girl and regard for her folk is a prime glue to seal a bond go holy matrimony. Not ‘ buying’ patronage of groom’s parents nor ‘reimbursing’ them for providing a protector,caretaker spouse for the girl!
A lot needs to be done . Religion, statutes, street plays more important than saas-bahu perverted serials on tv channels by likes of an anti national element like ekta kapoor?
Rewrite censor board norms. Script a new society. Elect decent,learned,energetic statesmen as governors of people under ademocratic set up.
Kill evil practices. Dowry ,a demon of caste ridden,backward,reservations based system.
Lot to be said. Learned souls like you must continue the tirade against this banal practice .
Congratulations for giving shining examples of the light at end of the tunnel.
Crusades of positivity more important than dark instances of abuse of tradition and opportunities of life.
Thanx for your comments. Me will not take a penny.This I have promised my self.You read and gave your valuable comments.#gratitude.
Sadly despite all the growth in India women still continue to be exploited by the opposite sex. The women suffer not only suffer financial harassment in the form of dowry, but are also exploited emotionally, mentally and physically. Forget the GDP growth and the corruption, the attitude towards women in this country needs to be changed first !
I was expecting this post by you Ma’am. Dowry is a Menace and a curse in our society. I think we’re living in 21st century and still not moving ahead with the times. There are laws in place but still dowry deaths are not reduced as well as harassment . people are making humongous expenses through gifts which is also a part of a dowry. There is no escape for this stupidity which is still rampant in our society. It is a Shameful and a disgraceful act but people won’t refuse to budge or rather work towards eradication of the same. Thank You for highlighting this issue. I hope people stop this ” NONSENSE”
Dowery is a criminal act,grabbing what is not your hard earned.It gives birth to many other evils.It must be eschewed.
Thanx Sir !You read nd endorsed my view.It means a lot to me.
A very good narrative about your friends. This system, besides, treating a girl walking into the family an inferior subject from an inferior planet is eating into our societal values. Congratulations for taking up a subject that needs attention of civil society.
Sir!You read my article. It means a lot to me.Your inputs are important .Thanx for your motivation.
Yug Vani family is against dowry from the very begging. It practices & advocates “Not to take or give dowry”
Why to give your lovely daughter in such hands whose life depends on the dowry you provide.
Or why do you take dowry for your son? If your son can’t earn enough why you marry him at all?
When you say yes for dowry, you open a door for all future demands. And when such demands are not met, danger looms over daughter’s head.
Yug Vani appeal to all readers to join us.
SAY NO TO DOWRY TODAY TO SAVE YOUR DAUGHTER TOMORROW